I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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