found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Randomize
