you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
