I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
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