the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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