She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
