You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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