You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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