Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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