never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
