i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
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