Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
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