i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
