The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
