Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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