just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
