I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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