Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
