Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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