at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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