that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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