if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i would punch a child for taco bell
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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