Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
