Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I wish there were birth control emojis
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize