I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
It's no shave November. This is our time.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
