dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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