I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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