Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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