Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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