If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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