now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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