If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Drake has all the answers
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
