I want to stick my p in your. b.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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