i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
