I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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