1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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