Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
