drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
