She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
