just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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