at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
