just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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