where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
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