at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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