Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
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i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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