I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
