Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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