And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize