This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
