I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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