Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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