Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
