So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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