YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize