the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
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Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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