I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Of course I have a pirate flag
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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