i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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