You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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