It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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