Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I checked into jail on foursquare
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
